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Thursday, December 4, 2025
On November 29, a liquor store employee in Ashland, Virginia was surprised to find many smashed bottles on the floor and their contents spilled through the store.
Usually, incidents like this would indicate theft or a careless costumer, but in this case, the cause ended up being much stranger. Upon entering the store’s bathroom, the employee discovered a small sleeping raccoon, who had apparently broken into the store while it was closed from one of the ceiling tiles and then hit the shelf where the scotch and whiskey were stored.
Surprisingly, similar incidents have happened before. In 2013, a feral pig stole three six-packs of beer in a camping area near the DeGrey River in Australia. The area’s management later warned campers to secure all food & drinks inside their vehicle.
Raccoons have adapted so well to urban areas that a recent study has found that they have started to show physical changes that resemble traits of domesticated animals. Their snouts have become shorter than the ones of raccoons living in more natural environments. They have also started showing smaller teeth, floppier ears, curlier tails, and smaller brains.
One reason raccoons have become so abundant in urban areas is because they are successfully able to survive on human refuse. “Animals love our trash,” recently said Dr. Raffaela Lesch, an assistant professor of biology at the University of Arkansas at Little Rock. “It’s an easy source of food – all they have to do is endure our presence, not be aggressive, and then they can feast on anything we throw away.”
“I personally like raccoons,” said Samantha Martin, a local animal control officer. “They are funny little critters. He fell through one of the ceiling tiles and went on a full-blown rampage, drinking everything.” Martin took the raccoon to the local animal shelter, where the staff confirmed that the raccoon was drunk. “Another day in the life of an animal control officer, I guess,” Martin joked.
The shelter’s staff commended Martin for being able to handle the break-in, and were able to confirm that the raccoon had become sober. “After a few hours of sleep and zero signs of injury, other than maybe a hangover and poor life choices, he was safely released back to the wild, hopefully having learned that breaking and entering is not the answer,” the shelter’s staff said.
Category:Wackynews
