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Saturday, September 20, 2025
All hail the Reversi vandal
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I walked into this fine establishment one day. I ordered a Big Mac and ate it in approximently 14.8 seconds. I then quickly noticed a rumble in my stomach, and as quickly as that burger went in, it was ready to come out. I rushed to the bathroom and was frightened that there was one stall and it was currently occupied. So I waited for the person to be finished. I was holding it for 25 minutes. But it didn’t matter, I didn’t make it. My pants filled up with brown, chili textured feces. And it quickly ran down my leg and onto the floor. I had no other choice but to jump up onto the sink and release the rest into it. As I was having a bowel movement, a father and his child came in as I was squatted over the sink. The child began crying and they ran out in horror. Frustrated at my situation, I ran out of the bathroom to the front counter and smeared the brown remains on the table. The End.
I walked into this fine establishment one day. I ordered a Big Mac and ate it in approximently 14.8 seconds. I then quickly noticed a rumble in my stomach, and as quickly as that burger went in, it was ready to come out. I rushed to the bathroom and was frightened that there was one stall and it was currently occupied. So I waited for the person to be finished. I was holding it for 25 minutes. But it didn’t matter, I didn’t make it. My pants filled up with brown, chili textured feces. And it quickly ran down my leg and onto the floor. I had no other choice but to jump up onto the sink and release the rest into it. As I was having a bowel movement, a father and his child came in as I was squatted over the sink. The child began crying and they ran out in horror. Frustrated at my situation, I ran out of the bathroom to the front counter and smeared the brown remains on the table. The End.
